Sex is an important part of a relationship. Physical intimacy signifies not just pleasure, but trust, love, connection, care, all come under this aspect of a relationship.
However, it can also happen that sex becomes a chore. Rather than making your happy, it makes you groan because it has become a burden.
There are so many reasons why sex can become about anything but pleasure. There are other things that you’d rather do. You don’t have enough time. You are tired already. You just had a baby or there are children in the other room. You are not in the mood for it. You have sexual health problems and are undergoing treatment with a sexologist in Lahore. Your finances are all over the place and you cannot stand another mess.
The avenues of why you’d rather the dry spell persist are plenty. But if there is a complete lack of physical intimacy, that also is an ominous sign. It can cause a strain on your relationship.
Surviving the dry spell, in a good way
So, a compromise between the two situations can be having a happy dry spell. Even though conventionally it is used with a negative connotation, but you can simply reclaim it to make it better for yourself and your relationship. Some helpful tips include:
Having a healthy communication is cornerstone of any relationship, but especially marriage. So, talk to your partner openly about the lack of sex, and your perspective over it.
Some people tend to shove things under the rug, but that can become a source of conflict. If you talk to your partner about how you are having trouble engaging in regular problems due to the very many problems, and not because you don’t desire them, they’d surely understand. It can also take the pressure of tiptoeing around the sore topic about sex.
Don’t take things too seriously
While yes, going too long without sex can raise your hackles, but it is not always a bad omen. Dry spells don’t mean that your partner is having an affair, or they are filing for a divorce. It may mean they are tired. They are getting old. They are battling through other matters.
So, don’t always jump the gun. Life is not always about the worst-case scenario.
Explore intimacy otherwise
A romp in the bed is not the only way to connect physically. There are many other ways that you can be in sync with your partner; you don’t always have to sex to feel the pleasure, there are other ways as well.
For some people, something as simple as holding hands would do. For others, it is the more risqué stuff. So, try to figure out what you and your partner like best.
Make it normal for you and your partner to have dry spells without it being an apocalyptic event. It can also then ease off the pressure from the relationship.
Spend quality time otherwise
Sex is not the only way that you get to connect with your partner, do things together. There are plenty of other ways that you can spend quality time together, get to know each other better and have fun.
For example, start a course together. Make a mutual hobby. Read books together. Go on a date. Take a vacation. Point is, there are plenty of other ways to enjoy each other’s company.
Know that it’s the quality, not the quantity
It can also happen that you, yourself, feel the pressure of not wanting to have sex.
Since it is not part of the norm, you might think there is something wrong with you and rush to a sexologist in Karachi for a cure. But stop. It is the quality of your sexual experiences that matter, not the quantity. If you have great sex once in a blue moon, be happy. You got the moves, hurrah!